Dumb Jokes: Volume 1

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John
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Re: Dumb Jokes: Volume 1

Postby John » Thu Feb 14, 2019 9:07 pm

goldbelt wrote:Did I tell you about the time I sold my old hoover - well, it was only gathering dust.

Tim Vine?

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goldbelt
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Re: Dumb Jokes: Volume 1

Postby goldbelt » Thu Feb 14, 2019 9:17 pm

John wrote:
goldbelt wrote:Did I tell you about the time I sold my old hoover - well, it was only gathering dust.

Tim Vine?



It's one of Tim's jokes, indeed.

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TonyS
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Re: Dumb Jokes: Volume 1

Postby TonyS » Thu Feb 14, 2019 10:35 pm

goldbelt wrote:
John wrote:
goldbelt wrote:Did I tell you about the time I sold my old hoover - well, it was only gathering dust.

Tim Vine?



It's one of Tim's jokes, indeed.

goldbelt... it's you isn't it?
Hi Tim.
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Re: Dumb Jokes: Volume 1

Postby TonyS » Thu Feb 14, 2019 10:35 pm

weirdo.jpg
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Re: Dumb Jokes: Volume 1

Postby TonyS » Thu Feb 14, 2019 10:39 pm

Colin B wrote:
Mountain Mist wrote:My neighbor has been complaining that my dog has been barking when I leave my house. If you know me I hate electric zapping bark collars. So I purchased a citronella collar...


I was reading this as though you were reporting a real incident.

Then I remembered - you don't have 'neighbours' ...

That's the way it is when you're 'home and away'.
(I'll get my coat)
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Suspicious Minds
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Re: Dumb Jokes: Volume 1

Postby Suspicious Minds » Thu Feb 14, 2019 10:47 pm

TonyS wrote:
goldbelt wrote:
John wrote:
goldbelt wrote:Did I tell you about the time I sold my old hoover - well, it was only gathering dust.

Tim Vine?



It's one of Tim's jokes, indeed.

goldbelt... it's you isn't it?
Hi Tim.

:lol:
Don't take yourself too seriously ;-)

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When in Rome
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Re: Dumb Jokes: Volume 1

Postby When in Rome » Thu Feb 14, 2019 11:23 pm

I asked the local farrier 'How would one shoe a Shetland pony?'
He said 'Wave ones arms about and tell it to go away!'
It's far from being all over...

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Re: Dumb Jokes: Volume 1

Postby goldbelt » Thu Feb 14, 2019 11:53 pm

Gamblers Anonymous went on a mystery tour and ran a sweepstake on the destination.

The coach driver won three hundred pounds.

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goldbelt
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Re: Dumb Jokes: Volume 1

Postby goldbelt » Fri Feb 15, 2019 12:10 am

Woman picks her dress up from the dry cleaners.

As she's leaving, the lady behind the counter calls out to her, 'Come again'.

The woman replies, 'No, it was toothpaste this time'
Last edited by goldbelt on Fri Feb 15, 2019 12:11 am, edited 1 time in total.

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Colin B
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Re: Dumb Jokes: Volume 1

Postby Colin B » Fri Feb 15, 2019 12:10 am

Why is a fat girl like a moped ?

Both would give you a good ride, but you wouldn't want your mates to see you...
Colin B

"Judge a man not by his answers but by his questions" - Voltaire
"Why ?" - Colin B


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Re: Dumb Jokes: Volume 1

Postby Mountain Mist » Thu Feb 21, 2019 9:49 am

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TonyS
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Re: Dumb Jokes: Volume 1

Postby TonyS » Sat Mar 02, 2019 9:08 pm

I went to the Local Indian last night and
tried something different, a Pelican Curry.
It wasn't too spicy, but the bill was
enormous.
www.memphismansion.com
What a great place to visit, it really is.

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John
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Re: Dumb Jokes: Volume 1

Postby John » Sat Mar 02, 2019 10:14 pm

TonyS wrote:I went to the Local Indian last night and
tried something different, a Pelican Curry.
It wasn't too spicy, but the bill was
enormous.

Khorma long, you can do better than that.

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TonyS
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Re: Dumb Jokes: Volume 1

Postby TonyS » Sun Mar 03, 2019 3:58 pm

John wrote:
TonyS wrote:I went to the Local Indian last night and
tried something different, a Pelican Curry.
It wasn't too spicy, but the bill was
enormous.

Khorma long, you can do better than that.

Khorma long, khorma long
There's a full moon shining bright,
Khorma long, khorma long
order number 9 tonight.
www.memphismansion.com
What a great place to visit, it really is.

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Colin B
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Re: Dumb Jokes: Volume 1

Postby Colin B » Sun Mar 03, 2019 4:52 pm

TonyS wrote:Khorma long, khorma long
There's a full moon shining bright,
Khorma long, khorma long
order number 9 tonight.


♪♫ "Khorma everybody & turn your head to the left" ♪♫

Nah - doesn't work, does it ?
Colin B

"Judge a man not by his answers but by his questions" - Voltaire
"Why ?" - Colin B


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