Dumb Jokes: Volume 1

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Colin B
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Re: Dumb Jokes: Volume 1

Postby Colin B » Thu Mar 21, 2019 2:30 pm

TonyS wrote:Let's just settle on 'bird' then.
Sorry you're not getting any..cough, cough.
Colin B wrote:I meant the KFC variety - as I'm not a meat eater...
Private Presley wrote:So you gave up on flesh?


Actually, I'm a pescatarian - so I do eat sea food...
Colin B

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"Why ?" - Colin B

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Re: Dumb Jokes: Volume 1

Postby John » Thu Mar 21, 2019 2:33 pm

Colin B wrote:
TonyS wrote:Let's just settle on 'bird' then.
Sorry you're not getting any..cough, cough.
Colin B wrote:I meant the KFC variety - as I'm not a meat eater...
Private Presley wrote:So you gave up on flesh?


Actually, I'm a pescatarian - so I do eat sea food...

So you won't be eating that beluga? Is it still there?

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Colin B
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Re: Dumb Jokes: Volume 1

Postby Colin B » Thu Mar 21, 2019 2:42 pm

Colin B wrote:Actually, I'm a pescatarian - so I do eat sea food...
John wrote:So you won't be eating that beluga?
Is it still there?


No sightings reported since last year.
Colin B

"Judge a man not by his answers but by his questions" - Voltaire
"Why ?" - Colin B

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Re: Dumb Jokes: Volume 1

Postby John » Thu Mar 21, 2019 3:31 pm

Colin B wrote:Actually, I'm a pescatarian - so I do eat sea food...
John wrote:So you won't be eating that beluga?
Is it still there?
Colin B wrote:No sightings reported since last year.
John wrote:Did the residents of Gravesend eat it?


No - I think there was some civic pride in that it made the national news...

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Colin B
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Re: Dumb Jokes: Volume 1

Postby Colin B » Mon Mar 25, 2019 9:29 am

Obese old man, swigging down his 5th pint of beer & puffing on his umpteenth fag of the evening:

"Kids today eh ? You wouldn't catch my generation self-harming !"
Colin B

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"Why ?" - Colin B

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When in Rome
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Re: Dumb Jokes: Volume 1

Postby When in Rome » Thu Mar 28, 2019 11:21 pm

A cat breeder notices a sign in his local pet shop proudly stating 'Cat from Holland, available to buy!!'
Intrigued, the breeder enters and asks the owner "How Dutch is that moggie in the window?"
It's far from being all over...


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Re: Dumb Jokes: Volume 1

Postby Mountain Mist » Fri Mar 29, 2019 12:37 am

When in Rome wrote:A cat breeder notices a sign in his local pet shop proudly stating 'Cat from Holland, available to buy!!'
Intrigued, the breeder enters and asks the owner "How Dutch is that moggie in the window?"


:D

He had a lisp.

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Re: Dumb Jokes: Volume 1

Postby John » Wed May 01, 2019 11:32 pm

Well, I'm in A&E got a broken leg and a few cuts and bruises.

Today is not a good day. I woke up and decided to go horse riding. Something I haven't done for a few years and It turned out to be a big mistake! I got on the horse and we started off slowly, grew in confidence, went a little faster, before I knew it, we were going as fast as the horse could go. I couldn't take the pace and fell off, caught my foot in the stirrup with the horse dragging me behind. It just wouldn't stop!!

Thankfully the shop manager came out and unplugged the machine.

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Re: Dumb Jokes: Volume 1

Postby Colin B » Tue May 14, 2019 9:09 am

TonyS wrote:Let's just settle on 'bird' then.
Sorry you're not getting any..cough, cough.
Colin B wrote:I meant the KFC variety - as I'm not a meat eater...
Private Presley wrote:So you gave up on flesh?
Colin B wrote:Actually, I'm a pescatarian - so I do eat sea food...
John wrote:So you won't be eating that beluga?
Is it still there?



Beluga Whale off Gravesend.JPG



They reckon it has left us now.
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Colin B

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"Why ?" - Colin B

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Re: Dumb Jokes: Volume 1

Postby John » Tue May 14, 2019 9:24 am

Colin B wrote:
TonyS wrote:Let's just settle on 'bird' then.
Sorry you're not getting any..cough, cough.
Colin B wrote:I meant the KFC variety - as I'm not a meat eater...
Private Presley wrote:So you gave up on flesh?
Colin B wrote:Actually, I'm a pescatarian - so I do eat sea food...
John wrote:So you won't be eating that beluga?
Is it still there?



Beluga Whale off Gravesend.JPG


They reckon it has left us now.

Yeah right! Have the local pubs been offering cheap beluga and chips?

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Colin B
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Re: Dumb Jokes: Volume 1

Postby Colin B » Tue May 14, 2019 11:56 am

TonyS wrote:Let's just settle on 'bird' then.
Sorry you're not getting any..cough, cough.
Colin B wrote:I meant the KFC variety - as I'm not a meat eater...
Private Presley wrote:So you gave up on flesh?
Colin B wrote:Actually, I'm a pescatarian - so I do eat sea food...
John wrote:So you won't be eating that beluga?
Is it still there?
Colin B wrote:Beluga Whale off Gravesend.JPG


They reckon it has left us now.
John wrote:Yeah right! Have the local pubs been offering cheap beluga and chips?



No.

- Beluga Whale Has Left Gravesend
Colin B

"Judge a man not by his answers but by his questions" - Voltaire
"Why ?" - Colin B

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Re: Dumb Jokes: Volume 1

Postby John » Tue May 14, 2019 1:02 pm

Colin B wrote:
TonyS wrote:Let's just settle on 'bird' then.
Sorry you're not getting any..cough, cough.
Colin B wrote:I meant the KFC variety - as I'm not a meat eater...
Private Presley wrote:So you gave up on flesh?
Colin B wrote:Actually, I'm a pescatarian - so I do eat sea food...
John wrote:So you won't be eating that beluga?
Is it still there?
Colin B wrote:Beluga Whale off Gravesend.JPG


They reckon it has left us now.
John wrote:Yeah right! Have the local pubs been offering cheap beluga and chips?



No.


Hope it gets back safely to where it came from.

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Re: Dumb Jokes: Volume 1

Postby TonyS » Tue May 14, 2019 1:55 pm

Dear Beluga,
'Where do you come from?'
www.memphismansion.com
What a great place to visit, it really is.

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Colin B
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Re: Dumb Jokes: Volume 1

Postby Colin B » Tue May 14, 2019 2:22 pm

TonyS wrote:Dear Beluga,
'Where do you come from?'


Ha ha ha !

Pity we couldn't ask it that question !


Hopefully, it's gone to rejoin its 'pod' - wherever that is...
Colin B

"Judge a man not by his answers but by his questions" - Voltaire
"Why ?" - Colin B

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Re: Dumb Jokes: Volume 1

Postby Colin B » Thu Aug 15, 2019 7:42 pm

Doctor Joke.JPG
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"Why ?" - Colin B


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