Dumb Jokes: Volume 1

[WalterHaleJnr]

What would the White House be like for Trump if he loses the 2020 election?

For-Biden Entry...

[WalterHaleJnr]

Next thing Donald Trump wants to ban is the sale of pre-shredded cheese. – He wants to make America grate again.

[WalterHaleJnr]

A foreign man came to America not knowing a word of English and right away began looking for a job. He became a chorus teacher and learned to say, ¨Mi-mi-mi-mi-mi!¨ After that he joined the Army and learned to say, ¨Yes sir!¨ After that he worked at a restaurant and learned to say, ¨Forks and knives, forks and knives!¨ After that he worked at a candy store and picked up the words, ¨Goody-goody gumdrops!¨ A few weeks later, there was a murder in the area and he was the first person to be interrogated by the police.
The interrogation went as follows: Policeman: Who killed the man? Foreign man: Mi-mi-mi-mi-mi! Policeman: Did you kill the man? Foreign man: Yes sir! Policeman: What did you use to kill him: Foreign man: Forks and knives, forks and knives! Policeman: You´re under arrest.
Foreign man: Goody-goody gumdrops!

[Mountain Mist]

The last one - bad, I mean bad, lol

[WalterHaleJnr]

Who did Frankenstein go trick or treating with?
His ghoul friend.

What Halloween candy is never on time for the party?
Choco-LATE!

Why do ghosts go on diets?
So they can keep their ghoulish figures

Why do skeletons have low self-esteem?
They have no body to love.

Do you know why skeletons are so calm?
Because nothing gets under their skin.



What's a ghost's favorite dessert?
I-Scream!


Why don’t mummies have friends?
Because they’re too wrapped up in themselves.

How do vampires get around on Halloween?
On blood vessels.

What’s it like to be kissed by a vampire?
It’s a pain in the neck.

What’s it called when a vampire has trouble with his house?
A grave problem.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FctEF2z5opk

[Mountain Mist]

Really slack, Walter

[WalterHaleJnr]

Really slack, Walter

Yeah i agree. But it fits in with the title to the thread.

[Mountain Mist]

Really slack, Walter

Yeah i agree. But it fits in with the title to the thread.

Oh Walter, you must not know, I mean, these are fun.

I like slack, I like silly, I particularly like Dad jokes

[WalterHaleJnr]

Oh thanks for lettin' me know. Here's two pics i think will give you the creeps. Hope so

the-walking-dead-felines.jpg

#2the-walking-dead-feline-version.jpg

[Mountain Mist]

LOL, look at those felines.

Awww the second photo, the look on the dog's face.

[WalterHaleJnr]

LOL, look at those felines.

Awww the second photo, the look on the dog's face.

Glad you liked the pics. You have not said a thing regarding my avatar. It's only here for one day, then i'll get back to posting my vintage legal tender theme

[Mountain Mist]

LOL, look at those felines.

Awww the second photo, the look on the dog's face.

Glad you liked the pics. You have not said a thing regarding my avatar. It's only here for one day, then i'll get back to posting my vintage legal tender theme

Your avatar is very wickedly vampirish, lol

Hahahahahaaaaaa

Some humour from the Count, with clever editting, lol

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6AXPnH0C9UA

[John]

Lots of chuckles there. Thanks Walter.

[WalterHaleJnr]

Q: What’s Frankenstein’s favourite food?
A: Frankenfurters.

Q: What did the zombie girl say to the zombie boy?
A: “Are you going to kiss me or rot?”

Q: How did the female zombie end up with a smokin’ hot body?
A: Cremation!

Q: What do you call a werewolf with no legs?
A: Anything you like – he can’t chase you!

Q: How do you make a werewolf laugh?
A: 
Give him a funny bone to eat!

Q: How can you tell an Italian witch from an English one?
A: By her suntan!

Q: What’s the different between a witch and a banker?
A: The witch is only good at spelling!

Q: What is the best way of stopping infection from witch bites ?
A: Don’t bite any witches!

Q: Why didn’t the skeleton go to see a scary movie?
A: He didn’t have the guts!

Q: What happened to the skeleton who stayed by the fire too long?
A: He became bone dry!

[WalterHaleJnr]

A witch’s werewolf has a problem so he takes him to the vet’s. The vet looks at the werewolf and says that he’ll have to take him to the examining room. In the examining room, he takes a black cat out of a cage and lets the black cat walk all over the werewolf, but the werewolf doesn’t do anything.
The doctor say “Your werwolf is dead.”

The witch goes out to the receptionist and asks for her bill.

“That’ll be $666” says the receptionist.

“What! $666? How’s that possible?”

“It’s $66 for the consultation, and $600 for the Cat scan.”