Dumb Jokes: Volume 1

Share your non-Elvis stuff here
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Colin B
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Re: Dumb Jokes: Volume 1

Postby Colin B » Thu Nov 12, 2020 11:26 am

John wrote:Colin uses his bus pass.
WalterHaleJnr wrote:Does COLIN drive a vehicle?
Colin B wrote:I don't have a car, since you ask, but I do have a current driving licence.
Not that it's any of your business...
John wrote:Not had your coffee and muffin yet, Colin? Oh, that's none of my business either.


It was the implication that my being able to drive was a surprise that irked me.

With the current lockdown, my daily visit to the cafe for a coffee & muffin is curtailed.

I walk across the road each morning to the garage & get my newspaper & a cinnamon swirl & sit at home for my coffee.

Not quite the same somehow...
Colin B

"Judge a man not by his answers but by his questions" - Voltaire
"Why ?" - Colin B

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John
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Re: Dumb Jokes: Volume 1

Postby John » Thu Nov 12, 2020 11:33 am

Colin B wrote:
John wrote:Colin uses his bus pass.
WalterHaleJnr wrote:Does COLIN drive a vehicle?
Colin B wrote:I don't have a car, since you ask, but I do have a current driving licence.
Not that it's any of your business...
John wrote:Not had your coffee and muffin yet, Colin? Oh, that's none of my business either.


It was the implication that my being able to drive was a surprise that irked me.

With the current lockdown, my daily visit to the cafe for a coffee & muffin is curtailed.

I walk across the road each morning to the garage & get my newspaper & a cinnamon swirl & sit at home for my coffee.

Not quite the same somehow...

Life is too short to be irked.

Did anyone imply that you couldn't drive?

Yeah, it's a bugger not being able to do the normal things one usually does. Still, the vaccine will soon sort us out (cough cough).

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WalterHaleJnr
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Re: Dumb Jokes: Volume 1

Postby WalterHaleJnr » Thu Nov 12, 2020 12:17 pm

Speaking for myself, I reckon i'm better off not having a vehicle. I do have a AVanti model - electric bicycle and a Avanti Mountain Bike but have not ride either, since before my Operation nearly four years to the day.

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WalterHaleJnr
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Re: Dumb Jokes: Volume 1

Postby WalterHaleJnr » Fri Nov 13, 2020 9:58 pm

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WalterHaleJnr
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Re: Dumb Jokes: Volume 1

Postby WalterHaleJnr » Fri Nov 13, 2020 10:14 pm

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Mountain Mist
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Re: Dumb Jokes: Volume 1

Postby Mountain Mist » Sat Nov 14, 2020 12:33 pm

WalterHaleJnr wrote:.png



Does it work?

;)

LOL


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Re: Dumb Jokes: Volume 1

Postby Mountain Mist » Sat Nov 14, 2020 12:33 pm

WalterHaleJnr wrote:.png




Hi Friend!

LOL


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Re: Dumb Jokes: Volume 1

Postby Mountain Mist » Sat Nov 14, 2020 12:35 pm

This was shared on a wonderful site, recently.

I immediately thought of a previous member from here, I hope he listens.

So funny.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I1IM37OY0Kg&t=2s

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WalterHaleJnr
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Re: Dumb Jokes: Volume 1

Postby WalterHaleJnr » Sat Nov 14, 2020 1:22 pm

Mountain Mist wrote:
WalterHaleJnr wrote:.png



Does it work?

;)

LOL

Should say not. You buy the invisible jacket but that would mean ppl can still see your torso area!

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Re: Dumb Jokes: Volume 1

Postby WalterHaleJnr » Sun Nov 15, 2020 11:26 am

As a butcher is shooing a dog from his shop, he sees $10 and a note in his mouth, reading: “10 lamb chops, please.”

Amazed, he takes the money, puts a bag of chops in the dog’s mouth, and quickly closes the shop.

He follows the dog and watches him wait for a green light, look both ways, and trot across the road to a bus stop. The dog checks the timetable and sits on the bench. When a bus arrives, he walks around to the front and looks at the number, then boards the bus. The butcher follows, dumbstruck.

As the bus travels out into the suburbs, the dog takes in the scenery.

After a while he stands on his back paws to push the “stop” button, then the butcher follows him off.

The dog runs up to a house and drops his bag on the stoop. He goes back down the path, takes a big run, and throws himself -Whap! – Against the door. He does this again and again. No answer. So he jumps on a wall, walks around the garden, beats his head against a window, jumps off, and waits at the front door. A big guy opens it and starts cursing and pummeling the dog.

The butcher runs up screams at the guy: “What the hell are you doing? This dog’s a genius!”

The owner responds, “Genius, no way! It’s the second time this week he’s forgotten his key!”


Read more on page: http://www.jokesoftheday.net/joke-The-Smartest-D…/2018061849

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WalterHaleJnr
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Re: Dumb Jokes: Volume 1

Postby WalterHaleJnr » Sat Dec 05, 2020 7:16 am

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Re: Dumb Jokes: Volume 1

Postby WalterHaleJnr » Sat Dec 05, 2020 11:49 am

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