Dumb Jokes: Volume 1

Share your non-Elvis stuff here
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When in Rome
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Re: Dumb Jokes: Volume 1

Postby When in Rome » Fri Dec 20, 2019 9:33 am

A three-legged dog walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "I’m looking for the man who shot my paw...'
It's far from being all over...

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Re: Dumb Jokes: Volume 1

Postby When in Rome » Fri Dec 20, 2019 9:34 am

The shovel was a ground-breaking invention...
It's far from being all over...

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Re: Dumb Jokes: Volume 1

Postby When in Rome » Fri Dec 20, 2019 9:35 am

And finally...
Russian weather forecaster Rudolph woke up one clear, sunny morning, looked out his bedroom and declared to his wife that it was going to rain heavily before days end.
His wife said he was crazy, the skies were as clear as can be! To which he replied "Rudolph the red knows rain, dear."
It's far from being all over...

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Re: Dumb Jokes: Volume 1

Postby John » Fri Dec 20, 2019 11:18 am

When in Rome, you've been opening those Christmas crackers early. I've chuckled. I've laughed at this one: I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon. I’ll let you know...

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Colin B
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Re: Dumb Jokes: Volume 1

Postby Colin B » Thu Mar 19, 2020 11:14 pm

Cats do like to be picked up for a cuddle with their owners, but not always.

A cat that puts its ears back, growls & swishes its tail, is asking to be put down...
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"Judge a man not by his answers but by his questions" - Voltaire
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Re: Dumb Jokes: Volume 1

Postby Colin B » Wed Mar 25, 2020 11:19 am

The old ones are the best:

The Bathtub Test.JPG
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Colin B

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"Why ?" - Colin B


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Re: Dumb Jokes: Volume 1

Postby Rickeap » Wed Apr 01, 2020 4:40 am

Colin B wrote:The old ones are the best:

The Bathtub Test.JPG



actually, i use a bucket to redistribute the water in the garden, better than wasting it.


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Re: Dumb Jokes: Volume 1

Postby jungleroombear » Sun Jul 26, 2020 9:44 am

A football referee who's gay, lost his licence after admitting he just wanted to run around penalising everyone.

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Re: Dumb Jokes: Volume 1

Postby WalterHaleJnr » Sun Jul 26, 2020 10:20 am

I onced stayed up all night trying to work out where the sun went.

Then it dawned on me...

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Re: Dumb Jokes: Volume 1

Postby Colin B » Sun Sep 06, 2020 11:56 am

From Private Eye - No.1529:

Private Eye - Joke.JPG
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Re: Dumb Jokes: Volume 1

Postby WalterHaleJnr » Sat Sep 12, 2020 8:19 am

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Re: Dumb Jokes: Volume 1

Postby John » Sat Sep 12, 2020 8:53 am

WalterHaleJnr wrote:.jpg

It's been doing the rounds. It's a good one.

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Re: Dumb Jokes: Volume 1

Postby WalterHaleJnr » Sat Sep 12, 2020 10:28 am

Why didn’t the dog want to play football?

It was a boxer.


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Re: Dumb Jokes: Volume 1

Postby Mountain Mist » Sun Sep 13, 2020 8:50 pm

Groan, lol

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Re: Dumb Jokes: Volume 1

Postby WalterHaleJnr » Thu Oct 01, 2020 11:17 am

Why didn’t the skeleton play football?

His heart wasn’t in it...


Which football player wears the biggest helmet?

The one with the biggest head....


What would you get if you crossed a football player and the Invisible Man?

Football like no one has ever seen...


Hey, the missus just split up with me because she thinks I’m obsessed with football :o
I’m a bit gutted about it; we’d been going out for 3 seasons.


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