Dumb Jokes: Volume 1

[When in Rome]

I told my wife she drew her eyebrows too high today. She seemed surprised... [emoji6]

[When in Rome]

Today at the bank, an old lady asked me to help check her balance. So I pushed her over.

[When in Rome]

Q. What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

A. A hippo is really heavy, and a Zippo is a little lighter.

[When in Rome]

I couldn't figure out why the baseball kept getting larger. Then it hit me.

[When in Rome]

Why did the old man fall in the well? Because he couldn't see that well...

[Suspicious Minds]

[John]

All very good.

[Rickeap]

LOL

[When in Rome]

My wife asked me to pass her lipstick to her, I accidentally passed her a glue stick instead. She still isn't talking to me...

[When in Rome]

My friend always wanted to be run over by a steam train and when it finally happened he was chuffed to bits...

[JamieAKelley]

LOL! I have to say - in my head, I'm reading all of these as if they were said by Dean Martin. Works quite well!

Love 'em!

[John]

We have a guy over here called Tim Vine, he’s the king of one liners, and these are his type of jokes.

[Colin B]

We have a guy over here called Tim Vine, he’s the king of one liners, and these are his type of jokes.

A bit of Tim's stuff:

“I rang up British Telecom and said: ‘I want to report a nuisance caller.’ He said: ‘Not you again.'”

“I saw this bloke chatting-up a cheetah and I thought: ‘He’s trying to pull a fast one.'”

“The advantages of easy origami are two-fold.”

“I rang up my local swimming baths. I said: ‘Is that the local swimming baths?’ He said: ‘It depends where you’re calling from.'”

[Private Presley]

Tim Vine.jpg

[When in Rome]

Tim Vine is great. The 'chuffed to bits' gag is one of his...