The Bear and the Hunter

[WalterHaleJnr]

An American gentleman decides that for his birthday he wants to go out into the wilderness of the Rocky Mountains and hunt a grizzly bear. He finds an outdoor shop and buys himself a rifle before heading out to find his quarry. After a coupe of days he sees a large male bear sunning himself in the afternoon heat. The chap hides behind a tree and draws a bead on the animal. He fires but misses. The bear duly perturbed by an attempt on his life charges at the hunter. He takes his rifle and smashes it into scrap metal and wooden driftwood before turning on the hunter. The bear speaks to him 'What it is you see I'm a little bit sexually frustrated so I offer you a choice. I can kill you and eat you or I can turn you over and have my wicked way with you. What is it to be?' The hunter pauses before deciding that he really doesn't want to die so goes for option two. The bear does his love act before strolling off back to his lair. The hunter, battered and beaten and feeling rather sore crawls off and in 2 days reaches civilisation. He is rushed to hospital and spends 2 weeks there blushing profusely. He hatches a plan. No big old bear is gonna get away with this. On his release from hospital he returns to the outdoor store and buys himself a bigger gun with a large telescopic sight and a silencer. Off he goes to the woods and finds the bear again sunning himself. He hides again behind a tree and fires. The bear leaps up as the shot misses him. Over to the hunter he charges at full speed and smashes up his new gun. The bear gives the hunter the same two previous options and not wanting to die and get eaten the hunter again chooses option two. The bear strolls off and gain merrily whistling and again the hunter crawls away again to civilisation. 2 weeks later he gets out of hospital. This bear must die. Kill or be killed. Law of the jungle. He returns to the hunting shop and buys a big assault rifle with a red dot sight. This bear is gonna be toast. Off he goes to the forest. Draws a red bead on the bear and bang, bang, bang, bang bang. Suddenly the bear leaps on him. The bear looks puzzled 'Not you again?' OK you know the drill. Drop your trousers or be eaten' The same routine follows and two weeks later the hunter is released from hospital. He goes to the hunting shop and buys a large calibre machine gun. Off he goes to the woods and hides behind the tree. Suddenly the bear taps him on the shoulder and says 'You don't really come here for the hunting do you?'