Chuck Norris Facts ........

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Mountain Mist
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Chuck Norris Facts ........

Postby Mountain Mist » Thu Apr 19, 2018 9:57 pm

Chuck Norris and Superman once fought each other on a bet.
The loser had to start wearing his underwear on the outside of his pants.

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Before going to bed, the Boogeyman always checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

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Chuck Norris went skydiving and his parachute failed to open, so he took it back the next day for a refund

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Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.

:lol:



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Re: Chuck Norris Facts ........

Postby Rickeap » Wed May 09, 2018 9:31 am

Very good



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Re: Chuck Norris Facts ........

Postby Mountain Mist » Wed May 09, 2018 9:35 am

Hehehe :D



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Re: Chuck Norris Facts ........

Postby Mountain Mist » Sat Oct 06, 2018 8:39 pm

Chuck Norris once walked away from a fight with two broken ribs and a dislocated arm. He hasn't given them back yet...

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Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 50 people, then it exploded.

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Chuck Norris can rub two pieces of fire together and make wood.

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Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone.

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When Chuck Norris was in middle school, his English teacher assigned an essay: "What is courage?" He received an A+ for turning in a blank page with only his name at the top.

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ALL COLIN'S QUESTIONS ANSWERED:

There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.

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Chuck Norris knows Victoria's secret.

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It is considered a great accomplishment to go down Niagara Falls in a wooden barrel. Chuck Norris can go up Niagara Falls in a cardboard box.
(Just like Cilla)
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Ghosts sit around a campfire and tell Chuck Norris stories.


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When in Rome
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Re: Chuck Norris Facts ........

Postby When in Rome » Sat Oct 06, 2018 11:04 pm

Great stuff! Never knew there were so many Chuck Norris jokes, I mean 'facts'!
Here's another -
Chuck Norris makes onions cry...
It's far from being all over...



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Re: Chuck Norris Facts ........

Postby Mountain Mist » Sat Oct 06, 2018 11:09 pm

When in Rome wrote:Great stuff! Never knew there were so many Chuck Norris jokes, I mean 'facts'!
Here's another -
Chuck Norris makes onions cry...



I know, they are great, aren't they? I love the "onions cry", lol



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Re: Chuck Norris Facts ........

Postby Mountain Mist » Sat Oct 06, 2018 11:10 pm

Chuck Norris had a pet rock.....He named it Earth.

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Chuck Norris can kill your imaginary friends.

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Chuck can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.

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Chuck Norris can hear sign language.


;) lol


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Re: Chuck Norris Facts ........

Postby John » Sun Oct 07, 2018 8:57 am

All brilliant.


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Re: Chuck Norris Facts ........

Postby Colin B » Sun Oct 07, 2018 9:39 am

Mountain Mist wrote:............................................

ALL COLIN'S QUESTIONS ANSWERED:

There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.

..........................................


Ha ha ha !

How does Chuck Norris merit all this attention ?

I only vaguely know the name...
Colin B

"Judge a man not by his answers but by his questions" - Voltaire
"Why ?" - Colin B



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Re: Chuck Norris Facts ........

Postby Mountain Mist » Sun Oct 07, 2018 9:48 am

Colin B wrote:
Mountain Mist wrote:............................................

ALL COLIN'S QUESTIONS ANSWERED:

There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.

..........................................


Ha ha ha !

How does Chuck Norris merit all this attention ?

I only vaguely know the name...



I solved your evolution question, Colin! You may thank me now, lol :D

Chuck Norris is a famous martial artist, he is most well known for fighting Bruce Lee in "Enter The Dragon".

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GzGUr15P7Tk

Chuck also taught Cilla martial arts after meeting her through Elvis' teacher and body guard, Ed Parker.

When Chuck and Bruce were discussing the scene, Chuck asked Bruce who would win the fight, Bruce said he would of course, as it was his movie.

I do not know if true; however, my recollection is that Bruce broke Chuck's leg for real.


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Re: Chuck Norris Facts ........

Postby Colin B » Sun Oct 07, 2018 12:26 pm

Mountain Mist wrote:...I solved your evolution question, Colin!
You may thank me now, lol :D....


Err...... well, thanks, Mountain Mist !

Evolution is a proven fact, & generally accepted, even by religious people [such as the current pope].

Can't remember what my question was now...
Colin B

"Judge a man not by his answers but by his questions" - Voltaire
"Why ?" - Colin B



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Re: Chuck Norris Facts ........

Postby Mountain Mist » Mon Oct 22, 2018 10:10 pm

Colin B wrote:
Mountain Mist wrote:...I solved your evolution question, Colin!
You may thank me now, lol :D....


Err...... well, thanks, Mountain Mist !

Evolution is a proven fact, & generally accepted, even by religious people [such as the current pope].

Can't remember what my question was now...



Me either

:D



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Re: Chuck Norris Facts ........

Postby Mountain Mist » Mon Oct 22, 2018 10:12 pm

Death once had a near-Chuck-Norris experience.


Chuck Norris is the only person on the planet that can kick you in the back of the face.


Chuck Norris' dog is trained to pick up his own poop because Chuck Norris will not take s*** from anyone.


When Chuck Norris gives you the finger, he's telling you how many seconds you have left to live.


If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, and feels like chicken but Chuck Norris says its beef, then it's beef.


Chuck Norris can speak braille.


Chuck Norris puts the "laughter" in "manslaughter".


Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.


Chuck refers to himself in the fourth person.


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