If God Had Voice Mail

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WalterHaleJnr
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If God Had Voice Mail

Postby WalterHaleJnr » Fri Feb 23, 2018 8:08 pm

we have all learned to live with voice mail as a necessary part of modern life. But you may have wondered, "What if God decided to install voice mail?" Imagine praying and hearing this...

Thank you for calling My Father's House.
Please select one of the following options:

Press 1 for request
Press 2 for thanksgiving
Press 3 for complaints
Press 4 for all other inquiries

What if God used the familiar excuse, "All the angels are helping other customers right now. Please stay on the line. You call will be answered in the order it was received.

Can you imagine getting these kinds of response as you call on God in prayer?

If you would like to speak to Gabriel, press 1 now
If you would like to speak to Michael, press 2 now
For a directory of other angels, press 3 now
If you would like to hear King David sing a Psalm while you're holding, press 4 now

To find out if a love one has been assigned to heaven, enter his or her social security number now.

For reservations at My Father's House, press the letters J-O-H-N and then 3-1-6.

For answers on nagging questions about the age of earth and where Noah's Ark is, please wait until you arrive here.

Our computers show that you have already called once today. Please hang up and try again tomorrow.

This office is close for the weekend. Please call again on Monday after 9:00 a.m.

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elvislady
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Re: If God Had Voice Mail

Postby elvislady » Fri Feb 23, 2018 8:31 pm

WalterHaleJnr wrote:we have all learned to live with voice mail as a necessary part of modern life. But you may have wondered, "What if God decided to install voice mail?" Imagine praying and hearing this...

Thank you for calling My Father's House.
Please select one of the following options:

Press 1 for request
Press 2 for thanksgiving
Press 3 for complaints
Press 4 for all other inquiries

What if God used the familiar excuse, "All the angels are helping other customers right now. Please stay on the line. You call will be answered in the order it was received.

Can you imagine getting these kinds of response as you call on God in prayer?

If you would like to speak to Gabriel, press 1 now
If you would like to speak to Michael, press 2 now
For a directory of other angels, press 3 now
If you would like to hear King David sing a Psalm while you're holding, press 4 now

To find out if a love one has been assigned to heaven, enter his or her social security number now.

For reservations at My Father's House, press the letters J-O-H-N and then 3-1-6.

For answers on nagging questions about the age of earth and where Noah's Ark is, please wait until you arrive here.

Our computers show that you have already called once today. Please hang up and try again tomorrow.

This office is close for the weekend. Please call again on Monday after 9:00 a.m.




Brilliant! :D :D


teddybare
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Re: If God Had Voice Mail

Postby teddybare » Sat Feb 24, 2018 3:25 am

Am overdosing on fun this morning Walter...
Thanks again for posting for the rest of us to enjoy...
I wonder - if on a bad day he would say 'Go to Hell' lol


Mountain Mist
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Re: If God Had Voice Mail

Postby Mountain Mist » Sat Feb 24, 2018 3:30 am

LOL Walt, tis good! lol

:D


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Re: If God Had Voice Mail

Postby Mountain Mist » Sat Feb 24, 2018 3:31 am

teddybare wrote:Am overdosing on fun this morning Walter...
Thanks again for posting for the rest of us to enjoy...
I wonder - if on a bad day he would say 'Go to Hell' lol



LOL

:D

It would be the devil in him! lol

;)


Mountain Mist
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Re: If God Had Voice Mail

Postby Mountain Mist » Sat Feb 24, 2018 4:17 am

teddybare wrote:Am overdosing on fun this morning Walter...
Thanks again for posting for the rest of us to enjoy..l



Me too!

:D

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Colin B
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Re: If God Had Voice Mail

Postby Colin B » Sat Feb 24, 2018 5:07 am

I enjoyed reading that, so I gave it a try !

Result: constantly engaged...
Colin B

"Judge a man not by his answers but by his questions" - Voltaire
"Why ?" - Colin B

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elvislady
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Re: If God Had Voice Mail

Postby elvislady » Tue Feb 27, 2018 8:19 am

Colin B wrote:I enjoyed reading that, so I gave it a try !

Result: constantly engaged...



Lol, Nice one colin. :D

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John
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Re: If God Had Voice Mail

Postby John » Tue Feb 27, 2018 1:34 pm

Manhattan Transfer tried it...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y9aKZZJvB0E

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mike edwards
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Re: If God Had Voice Mail

Postby mike edwards » Tue Feb 27, 2018 1:50 pm

Colin B wrote:I enjoyed reading that, so I gave it a try !

Result: constantly engaged...

you probably dialled the wrong number.
>>>



a piffling thousand, pay the man, and damn his impudence

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John
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Re: If God Had Voice Mail

Postby John » Tue Feb 27, 2018 4:25 pm

mike edwards wrote:
Colin B wrote:I enjoyed reading that, so I gave it a try !

Result: constantly engaged...

you probably dialled the wrong number.

or god had "nuisance call blocker" on.

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Colin B
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Re: If God Had Voice Mail

Postby Colin B » Tue Feb 27, 2018 7:33 pm

Colin B wrote:I enjoyed reading that, so I gave it a try !
Result: constantly engaged...
mike edwards wrote:you probably dialled the wrong number.
John wrote:or god had "nuisance call blocker" on.


Hey - he just rang back !

In a booming voice he asked:

"Why didn't you believe in me ?"

I said "Well, you never presented any evidence !"

He replied: "Oh yeah, there is that !"
Colin B

"Judge a man not by his answers but by his questions" - Voltaire
"Why ?" - Colin B


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