Cooking on Gas Oven

[WalterHaleJnr]

For my last birthday I was given a surprise present of a course of ten skydiving lessons. I was nervous at the outset but shakily thanked my boss for them and wondered how the hell I was going to get out of taking them. At work he kept asking me how things were moving along so eventually I relented and went out for my very first one. I was strapped to a senior instructor and when our plane reached the required altitude we slowed to the required speed and out we went. All of my fears melted away immediately and I felt completely free. As we hit ground I could not wait to book my second and third and …….you get the general idea I hope? Finally it was time for my tenth and final lesson. This was my first solo jump and I was extremely nervous. I did not want to let myself, my instructors, my boss and everybody else down. There was a young lady and myself, we were both on our first solo jumps and she looked even more nervous than I felt. The plane circled and circled and circled climbing ever higher until we reached our desired altitude. The plane slowed and we had a red light, then a green. With the door open the lady screamed something I cannot repeat on an Internet Forum and out she went. Now it was my turn. Red light, green light but I froze. My instructor shoved me from behind and I was falling through the clouds at terminal velocity. It was time to open my chute and I tugged at the rip cord. Every parachutists living nightmare followed. My chute failed to deploy. I was screaming in abject terror before my training took over. I remembered to pull the cord on the reserve chute. Like a scene from some kind of Bruce Willis film my reserve chute failed to deploy also and I found myself hurling towards the ground and a certain squishy squashy death. As I looked down I was absolutely astounded to see a man flying up towards me from the ground at great speed. I could not believe my eyes. As we passed each other I called out ‘Excuse me mate, do you know anything about parachutes?’ He replied ‘No sorry I don’t. Do you know anything about gas ovens?’

[Mountain Mist]

LOL, Walter.

I liked that, it was ............... Cooking! lol